26F Dated older when I was 19

Right when I got out of high school and I started going to college, I was working a part-time job and living at home with my parents. One of the people that I work for was a 44-year-old guy. I’d love to sit here and say that he was single and that he didn’t have kids, but that would be a lie. He was married and he had three kids. He liked to flirt with me a lot and being the new girl I would flirt back. Flirting led to us spending more time together at work but eventually outside of it. I had not had a serious boyfriend at all during high school so when this guy started showing interest and made me feel comfortable, I started to open up to him. We started to meet and go for long walks down on the beach. Sometimes we would do it at night and it would be a little bit cold, but he always either gave me his jacket or he would hold me and he always held my hand. As he can imagine, I started getting feelings for him, and I felt as if he felt the same about me. Kissing became a regular thing between us and eventually we took things a little bit further. I always complained about having to live at home and how I wanted my freedom so he offered to help me pay for an apartment which was very sweet of him.

As you can imagine, having my own apartment gave us a place where we could be alone. It became very common for him to come over, and the two of us would fool around. We eventually went all the way one night, which started off a streak of us doing it almost every day. He would come and spend a few hours with me in my apartment, and then we would just get dressed, and he would go home like nothing had happened. We were falling in love with each other, and we said it multiple times. We kept it hidden from everybody else, and I definitely couldn’t tell my parents that I was dating somebody that was 44 years old, married with three kids. I learned so many things with him as he opened me up sexually. I found myself getting jealous when he would have sex with his wife, and I would often give him the cold shoulder when you come over if I knew they had done it. He often accused me of controlling him with my pussy. He was my first taste of pretty much everything, but he also gave me a very deep passion for older men. He has also been with me since I’ve been married, which my husband knew about. He knew we dated in the past, but he doesn’t know the full story of how we actually got together. He does know that he’s been over at the house on nights when my husband is working.

My husband and I now have a 13-month-old, and we are back in that familiar area where he doesn’t like me being at home alone at night with our little one, so he suggested that we find a similar situation again so I can have somebody taking care of me at night while he’s away, and he doesn’t have to worry about us. If you’ve seen some of my posts, we are openly searching for that companion, but it has not been an easy process. We are 100% committed to finding that type of dynamic again.