[PI] A sex android is mistakenly sent to a legitimate business that ordered a secretary 'bot — but no one seems to mind too much.

The IT Guy hustled up the steps to the towering, brutalist building that housed the large company for which he worked, one hand fishing around in his sling bag while the other clutched an enormous screwtop jug filled with enough coffee for ten men. He pulled his ID badge out of his bag right as he got to the entryway, waved it lazily in front of a small pad, and the front door slid open along its track to let him inside.

As he walked through the atrium, he waved cheerfully to an exhausted Secretary sitting at the front desk, next to a cardboard box large enough that it could easily have housed some kind of appliance. "Mornin'," he said.

Instead of replying directly to the IT Guy's greeting, the Secretary pointed to the box. "Is that — _her?"_ she asked, desperately.

"Should be." The IT Guy scratched his peppery beard as he leaned over to peer at the shipping label. "Yep — Vitruvian Dynamics. It's her, all right."

"Oh, thank God." The secretary's lips, lacquered with a light coat of red lipstick, curled into a broad, relieved grin. "I don't think I could've done another full day of receptionist duty. I am _so_ ready to go back to the office and never talk to the unwashed masses—" she gestured vaguely toward the full-length windows that looked out on the city opposite the desk, "—again. Will she be ready to go today?"

"Oh, yeah," replied the IT Guy. "Should take all of an hour to set up." He waved over a large, burly security 'bot, who hefted the box into his arms as easily as if it were a basket of laundry. "So you've only got to hold out against the zombie hordes for a little longer." He began walking down the hall toward his office, and the 'bot followed.

---

About twenty minutes later, the IT Guy had sliced open the cardboard with a box cutter and pried open the wooden crate beneath with a crowbar. Sitting atop the shredded cardboard and splintered wood was a large, rectangular case made of stainless steel, with a keypad set into its locked front door.

"Ooookay," he muttered, carelessly skimming through the documentation that had also been inside the crate. "To activate your new Aphrodite-class companion android, simply enter the temporary PIN and... _wait a minute!"_ His gaze jerked back up a line, and he mouthed 'Aphrodite-class companion android' as he read the words again. "Those fucking idiots sent me the wrong model!" He groaned and punched the front of the case — and then yeowled in pain and sucked on his knuckles. "Shit... It's gonna take _weeks_ to exchange it..."

Doing his best to ignore the throbbing pain in his hand, the IT Guy sat down in his office's plush task chair and thought things through. Exchanging the, frankly, sex 'bot inside that case for the Athena-class professional android he'd actually ordered was, of course, the right thing to do — but he wasn't sure he could bear to see the look of pure misery on the Secretary's face if he were to tell her that, actually, she'd be on front desk duty for another fortnight. What's more, he was sure that the Middle Manager who was always breathing down his neck would find a way to blame him for this, even though he was sure it wasn't his fault.

On the other hand... how difficult could it be to adjust this android's programming enough that she'd be suitable for receptionist duties? Surely he could just make a tweak here, a modification there, and get her nice and ready. No one needed to know that — he glanced at the manual again to read along — she had 'a pair of breasts with realistic bounce and heft, a self-lubricating vagina that can accommodate penises and toys of near-limitless length, and a rectum designed exclusively for penetration'. She'd be wearing clothes over all of that anyway!

Nodding to himself, the IT Guy cracked his knuckles, plugged his laptop into a port on the front of the case, and set to work — and, about a half-hour later, he finally punched the temporary PIN (1-2-3-4-5) into the keypad, and the door slid open with a hydraulic hiss to reveal...

... the most beautiful woman the IT Guy had ever seen.

Well, he supposed she wasn't _really_ a woman — she wasn't even human — but she was a knockout nonetheless. Her dark hair was sleek and straight, and came down to around her shoulder blades; her skin was smooth and pale; and she had a girl-next-door figure with full breasts, some width to her hips, and a _great_ ass, as opposed to the cartoonish, porn-star body he'd been expecting.

She was also _completely_ naked, her knees to her chest and her arms around her legs, as if she were mid-cannonball at the local pool — or at least, she was at first, but a few seconds after the door finished opening, she rose fluidly to her feet, her eyes blinking open. She favored the IT Guy with a sleepy smile and said, in a melodious, soothing voice, "Hello. I am your new Aphrodite-class companion android. Would you like to choose a name for me, or shall I choose one at random?"

The IT Guy stared, quite rudely, at the android for a few more seconds before managing to close his slackened jaw and look her in her brown eyes. "Uhh — your name is Amanda." It was the name of his first crush from school, to whom the 'bot bore a subtle resemblance.

"Amanda," said the android, contemplatively. Then, she nodded and beamed. "I like it." She stepped out of the case — the IT Guy shuffled backward to make room for her in his cramped office — and stretched her arms over her head, groaning in satisfaction. This did fascinating things to her curves that the IT Guy did his best to ignore. "I see that you've made some modifications to my prime directives. I'm sorry to say that this will void your warranty. Would you like me to revert them?"

"No," said the IT Guy, quickly. "Could you state your prime directives for me, please? Just wanna make sure I've got them right."

Amanda nodded. "My prime directives are as follows. One: I am a front-desk receptionist, and will follow any orders from my superiors that do not endanger their lives or the lives of any of my colleagues. Two: 'my superiors' are defined as the chief executive officer of the company, the floor manager, and—" She grinned at the IT Guy, and he had to cross one leg over the other to hide how he felt about it. "—you. Three: I will not disparage the company under any circumstances. Does that sound correct?"

"Yes," the IT Guy replied. "That's all correct."

"Excellent. Would you like me to purge the behavioral patterns associated with my previous prime directives?"

"Um — what are those patterns?"

"As I've been designed as a companion android," explained Amanda, "I would ordinarily assume that any human interacting with me wishes for me to satisfy them sexually, and would take actions with the aim of doing so. However, I anticipate that this will make it more difficult for me to fulfill my new prime directives."

"Oh — uh — right. Of course. Go ahead and..." The IT Guy trailed off. He looked Amanda up and down again. "... Actually. Suppress those patterns unless one of your superiors says otherwise, but don't purge them."

"I understand," said Amanda, nodding. "Would you like me to get dressed and commence my duties?"

The IT Guy looked to the door to his office, and then back to Amanda — and then walked over and locked the pair of them in. "First," he replied, "give me, uh — give me a blowjob. And don't tell anyone."

Amanda smirked, her eyes suddenly smoldering with desire. "Yes, sir," she purred, and she sank down onto her knees and crawled across the carpet toward the IT Guy, her superb bottom swishing hypnotically back and forth as she went. Her dexterous fingers unfastened, unzipped, and slid down the IT Guy's jeans, and she grasped his shaft in her hand, pumping it up and down until it was rigid and throbbing.

"Ohh fuck," gasped the IT Guy, leaning back against the door as Amanda kissed the tip of his crown, and then — "Ohhhhh, fuck...!" — slid her lips down his cock until they were wrapped snugly around the base, her chin nuzzled against his balls. His toes clenched in his slip-resistant shoes as her head began to bob steadily up and down, her pretty, faintly-glowing eyes looking up at him as she worked, and when he reached down to rest his palm on the top of her head, she cooed in approval, snaking one of her own hands between her thighs to play with herself while she pleased him.

"D-Don't stop," the IT Guy groaned, but Amanda hadn't even slowed down — she was taking his dick all the way to the back of her throat like a pro every time her head dipped low, all without so much as a cough or a complaint. What's more, she was moaning and purring as she worked as though nothing pleased her more than to be on her knees giving head, as if it was her purpose — which, the IT Guy would've reasoned if he wasn't so distracted, it _was_. Unfortunately for the IT Guy, however, Amanda's skill and enthusiasm — coupled with the fact that, between his and his wife's busy schedules, he was lucky if they had sex once a _month_ — had him near-orgasm already. "I'm gonna come," he grunted, his muscles tensing and his length throbbing.

Amanda pulled her head back, a few thin strands of spit connecting her lower lip to the man's tip. "Where do you want it?" she asked, huskily.

"Unnh — inside, less messy," he decided, and as Amanda swallowed him once more, he climaxed, watching as she quickly swallowed his load and then licked him clean after.

"I hope you found that satisfying," said Amanda, licking her lips as she rose to her feet. "Shall I begin to fulfill my prime directives now?"

"Y... Yeah," breathed the IT Guy. "Let me just, uhh — find you some clothes."

---

Ten minutes later, Amanda — now dressed in a blouse, a blazer, a skirt, and a pair of high-heeled shoes — was walking alongside the IT Guy toward the front desk. The Secretary turned, saw the pair of them, and positively leapt to her feet. "She's here, she's here!" she exclaimed. "She's — wow. She's cuter than I thought she'd be."

"I know, right?" replied the IT Guy, breezily. "Android tech has really advanced a lot in the past decade. This is Amanda." He gestured to the 'bot, who gave the Secretary a cheery wave, and then turned to her. "My colleague here is going to show you the ropes, Amanda. Please follow any commands from her that you would from me. Got it?"

"I understand," said Amanda, and then the Secretary led the android over to the front desk, and they sat down next to each other behind it.

After the Secretary had walked Amanda — who proved to be a quick study — through what to do when visitors arrived, how to reach the building's various departments, and how to navigate the company's enormous, laggy, load-bearing spreadsheet file, she leaned back and sighed wearily. "I am _so_ glad you're here, Amanda," she said, sweeping a few blonde curls out of the way so that she could massage her own temples. "Ever since our last 'bot went on the fritz, I've been working out here instead of back in the administrative wing where I belong. I don't know how you androids do it."

"It's what we're designed for," shrugged Amanda.

"Ha — right you are." The Secretary grinned and added, in a dishy murmur, "Personally, what _I'm_ made for is to lay on a deck chair and sip a _piña colada_ while a hunky lifeguard French-kisses my puss—" She paused in mid-sentence, going rigid and flushing pink. "Er, sorry," she said, rubbing the back of her neck. "You're just, ah — so easy to talk to that I got a little too familiar..."

"No need to apologize," Amanda replied, smiling. "I'm not a hunky lifeguard, but per the instructions of my superior, I am authorized to stimulate you sexually, if you wish."

"Oh, there's no need to — w-wait, what?" The Secretary's blonde brows vanished beneath her bangs. "I — you — you can...?"

"I can," confirmed Amanda, with a sly little grin. She glanced around to make sure they were alone, and then added, "You must be very tired after having spent all morning training me. Perhaps you'd like to take your lunch break now? I... could _come with_ you."

The android had kept up her façade of professionalism right up until the pair of them reached the nearest custodial closet — but as soon as the Secretary opened the door, Amanda pounced like a jungle cat. She pinned the Secretary against the opposite wall, and then the pair of them were kissing eagerly, hands exploring each other's bodies. "You're — mmph! — p-professional android?" gasped the Secretary, between kisses. "Then — why do you — mnnh! — have...?" She groped Amanda's incredible breasts beneath the 'bot's blouse.

"Would you prefer I didn't?" purred Amanda, and then she reached beneath the Secretary's skirt, yanked her black panties down until they were bunched around one of her ankles, and grasped the woman's ass with both hands, squeezing it possessively.

"Oh, of course not," the Secretary replied, breathlessly, her glasses askew, "I was just — ohh!" She squealed and giggled as Amanda lifted her effortlessly upward, sank to her knees, and hooked the woman's legs over her shoulders, bracing her lover's back against the wall. "Oh, fuck, Amanda, lick me...!"

Amanda tilted her head forward, nuzzling the Secretary's rigid clit with the tip of her nose as she slipped her tongue between the woman's petals. As she lapped away, the Secretary hissed out a satisfied breath between her tightly-clenched teeth, hands gripping Amanda's hair. "Oh, jeez, this is _so_ wrong," she groaned, but she did absolutely nothing to stop the 'bot from giving her swollen button a vigorous tongue-bath; in fact, she rolled her hips forward, pressing her sex all the more firmly against Amanda's face. "We could get in so much, fffuck, trouble...!"

"Shhh," came Amanda's reply, the android too busy with her task to waste any time speaking full sentences — but, though the Secretary stopped babbling about getting caught, she couldn't stop herself from moaning, panting, and even squeaking when the android licked her just right, until...

"Ouuhhhhgoddddd...!" The Secretary jerkily humped Amanda's face as she came, her eyes fluttering closed and her spine arching so that the back of her head hit the closet wall with a soft _thock_ — but she was enjoying herself so much, pleasure positively flooding her body until she quivered with mirth, that she didn't much care. Amanda dutifully lapped up the resulting mess that the Secretary made — and then she let the woman down so that she could put her undies back on and the pair of them could clean up and sneak back to the front desk.

---

Toward the end of the day, there was a knock on the Middle Manager's door. "Come in," he said, and Amanda walked inside, either oblivious to the man's roving gaze or electing not to point it out. "You must be the new professional 'bot."

"Yes, sir," Amanda confirmed, smiling. "My name is Amanda. I'm very pleased to meet you."

"Likewise," the Middle Manager replied. "You couldn't have arrived at a better time. I've been shuffling the secretaries around all month to cover the shortage, and _fuck me_ am I tired."

Amanda grinned.

Twenty minutes later, the IT Guy happened to be passing when he heard a telltale smacking, grunting, and moaning coming from the Middle Manager's office. He peeked his head in — and yelped when he saw Amanda bent over the desk, easily taking the man's cock into her perfect ass again and again. "I — uhh, oh! I see you've found — that is — I-I can explain, sir!" he babbled.

"No — ungh — need," gasped the Middle Manager, not even bothering to stop stretching Amanda's tight pucker. "Surprised at first, but — unnh! — Aphrodite-class — great idea — good for morale...!"

"I — uh, right," replied the IT Guy, his sudden spike in adrenaline beginning to rapidly fade, with relief filling the vacuum it left behind. "Right! Of course. Totally intentional, ha."

"Good, ohh, work... Why don't you, unh — take the rest of the d, day off," groaned the Middle Manager, while Amanda moaned beneath him, rolling her hips back to meet his thrusts. "And shut the door behind you...!" Though, as the IT Guy closed the door, he heard a squeal of delight from Amanda and a ragged moan from the Middle Manager that he thought probably meant that the both of them had finished.

As the IT Guy headed for the exit, passing the (unusually flustered-looking) Secretary on his way out, he reflected that this little screw-up really couldn't have gone better. He now had a lovely, willing booty call whenever he wanted, the Middle Manager would be distracted enough by her that he'd spend less time messing things up, and when Amanda _wasn't_ screwing either of them, she'd be more than capable of doing her _actual_ job. There was just one question still bugging him by the time he was on the train home:

What had happened to the android they were _supposed_ to get?

---

"Thanks for calling ChromeBone, or whatever," growled Morgan, a goth android with long, black hair and skin as pale as the moon, as she raised the front desk's phone to her cheek. "What do you want? ... No, we don't have any blondes."

_"I'm_ blonde," replied a scandalized (and blonde) android standing off to the side.

"Shut up, Brittany," snapped Morgan. "No, sir, I wasn't talking to you. ... I don't care if you saw a blonde here before. She's not here anymore. It's just me. Do you want to fuck me or not? ... Well, fuck you, then." And she unceremoniously slammed the phone back onto its receiver.

"What the _fuck,_ Morgan!" Brittany stomped over to the goth 'bot, clenching her fists and teeth in lieu of smacking her. "You could've booked that guy with _me!"_

"I didn't _want_ to book him with _you,"_ hissed Morgan, glaring at the other android. "I _wanted_ to book him with _me."_

"Ugh! This had better be the new secretary," sighed Brittany, as the Owner — a squat, balding man with a beer belly and a suit that was _far_ too nice for his shabby aesthetic — wheeled in a dolly on which a large, wooden box was resting, "because if Morgan has to do, like, one more shift as the receptionist, I'm gonna strangle her."

"You can't strangle me," Morgan replied, as the Owner pried the box open with a crowbar, "as I don't breathe."

"That won't stop me from trying," spat Brittany.

"Ladies, please," sighed the Owner. "You're both pretty." He reached toward the case inside of the box, tapping out a few numbers on its front keypad with his stubby fingers. "As it happens, this _is_ our new secretary — a beautiful, Aphrodite-class companion 'bot, just like youse two. She can answer the phone, she can make appointments — _and_ she can fuck anyone who takes a shine to her. It's a win-win!"

He stepped back as the case's door slid open, and he and the two 'bots peered eagerly inside, where a pale, dark-haired android was sitting with her knees against her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. She stood up, stepped into the light—

—and the Owner groaned as he saw that the swell of her chest lacked nipples, and the area between her legs was smooth and featureless. _"Merda!"_ he swore, the crowbar clattering as he tossed it onto the ground. "That fuckin' _stronzo_ sales rep sent us the wrong model!"

"Hello," said the new android, smiling at the Owner in spite of his outburst. "I am your new Athena-class professional android."

"Yeah, yeah, nice to meet you," grumbled the Owner, "but I gotta send you right back to where you came f—" He paused as he caught Morgan's murderous glare out of the corner of his eye — a look so venomous that it made him wonder whether her prohibition on speaking ill of the company wasn't the _only_ prime directive she'd learned to violate. "... actually," he said, smoothly, a gold tooth glinting as he grinned at the receptionist 'bot, "we've been waitin' for someone just like you!"